...is to bring a moment of goodness and graciousness to anyone who finds their way here. Please join me in spreading goodness and graciousness as we come together to celebrate all that is good in the world. Whether this site is a forum for you to simply read and partake, or a place where you wish to actively contribute, I welcome and thank you for being here.
"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it."
~Mariann Williamson
There are those days where the problems of the world seem overwhelming, the sorrows too much to take into my soul.
We see the suffering of millions of our fellow human beings in virtually ever continent on our planet; natural disasters, human heartbreak, and violence seem ubiquitous.
At times it is just too much to bear, what do we do?
Chan Khong shares her secret:
"If we just worry about the big picture, we are powerless. So my secret is to start right away doing whatever little work I can do. I try to give joy to one person in the morning, and remove the suffering of one person in the afternoon. That is the secret. Start right now."
“Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”
~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
In a world that is desperate for healing, for answers, for goodness, for peace, may we remember that the genius required for transformation is not in our scholarly research nor in our brilliant brains, but in our heart.
Several times today I heard newscasters and viewers expressing shock over some of the horrific news concerning our violent children.
We hear...
* Eight teenagers arrested for beating up a classmate and video taping the incident to play on You Tube.
* A class of third graders creating a plan to kill their teacher.
* A middle school girl getting beaten up by classmates for her stand on illegal immigration.
* Two children, eight and ten, crushing the hip as they beat up a classmate.
* Students trying to beat up their teacher.
* Out of control bullying, young people going wild, and children killing children throughout the country.
I wonder why anyone is shocked?
I would be shocked if we did not hear such stories.
As horrific as these are, they are only a reflection of the violent society in which our children exist. Given the movies, video games, advertisements, and music to which our children are exposed how could we expect anything other than violent children?
Do we somehow think our children can emerge from such a violent culture as ours without embracing what we celebrate?
Do we think children are not soaking up the messages we boldly and carefully them?
Are we oblivious to what they have downloaded on their Ipods? What their games are teaching? What their music is suggesting?
We adults seem surprised by the children who are only reflecting the culture we gave them.
Who is to blame?
We can blame parents but certainly the parents cannot possibly watch their children every moment of every day.
We can blame schools but they are having to compete with a media more interested in making money than creating healthy children.
We can blame children but they are a product of our world.
We can blame the entertainment industry, or peers, or some political or religious misfortune or malfunction.
Or we can realize that the point is not blame but on healing the problem, restoring a sense of care, and finding peace.
It is time each of us individually, and as a community and society and world family decide we will not support the violence permeating our culture and destroying our children.
It is time we decide we will no longer tolerate a world filled with harm and cruelty.
It is time we take a stand and stop supporting, financially and emotionally those aspects of our society that are hurting our children.
So long as we teach our children violence is the way to manage life, that hurting others is acceptable, that physical harm is appropriate and normal, we will have violent children.
Enough is enough!
Some research from the Federal Trade Commission demonstrating how the media is working to target our young people with material deemed inappropriate for their emotional health:
Movies: Of the 44 movies rated R for violence the Commission selected for its study, the Commission found that 35, or 80 percent, were targeted to children under 17. Marketing plans for 28 of those 44, or 64 percent, contained express statements that the films target audience included children under 17. Plans for the other seven movies were either extremely similar to the plans of the films that did identify an under-17 target audience, or they detailed plans indicating they were targeting that age group, such as promoting the film in high schools or publications with majority under-17 audiences.
Music: Of the 55 music recordings with explicit content labels the Commission selected for its review, the Commission found that all were targeted to children under 17. Marketing plans for 15, or 27 percent, expressly identified children under 17 as part of their target audience. The documents for the remaining 40 explicit-content labeled recordings did not expressly state the age of the target audience, but detailed plans indicating they were targeting that age group, including placing advertising in media that would reach a majority or substantial percentage of children under 17.
Games: Of the 118 electronic games with a Mature rating for violence, the Commission selected for its study, 83, or 70 percent, targeted children under 17. The marketing plans for 60 of these, or 51 percent, expressly included children under 17 in the target audience. Documents for the remaining 23 games showed plans to advertise in magazines or on television shows with a majority or substantial under-17 audience.
"The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings."
How do we make our lives easier, simpler, less stressful, filled with more peace, happiness and joy?
The world is filled with ideas, theories, and techniques to make life better.
We have thousands of religions, political ideologies, and ancient and new philosophies.
We have remedies, pharmacological intervention, and hundreds of substances, some illegal and harmful all intended to bring us peace and happiness.
We have those behaviors that many of us falsely think will bring happiness but are in fact a very poor imitation, like gambling, porn, and shopping addictions.
We have books, articles, and research filled with a myriad of theories, ideas, and approaches to make life better.
Still, happiness and joy seems to elude much of the world. While individuals may find beauty and peace in their particular beliefs, the world seems largely to find happiness and joy elusive.
Is there an answer?
We know how the brain works, how substances impact our bodies, how horrible addiction is and still we persist. We know our world suffers from wars, anger, abuse and on we go. We have thousands of years of wisdom, modern day research and yet we still fight and harm one another.
I do not know much, but I know one thing...
......the more we live to bring kindness into the world, the better life is.
Myrtle Reed writes,
"If we all tried to make other people's paths easy, our own feet would have a smooth even place to walk on."
Today, may we do our best to make the path easier for others, and in our efforts we just may find we have made our own path smoother.
Of the hundreds of teenagers and young women I have worked with over the years, body image issues may be the most damaging and difficult for girls in our society. They are often at the heart of depression, anxiety, self esteem, even suicide.
As a society we must rethink the message we are sending our girls, teenagers and young women, we must take a good hard and honest look at what we are promoting, what we are encouraging, and what we are celebrating!
"Today, the body has become most girls' primary project, creating a degree of self-consciousness and dissatisfaction that is pervasive and often dangerous."*
A few statistics to give us a glimpse of what is going on...
Ten percent of the girls in our country are suffering from an eating disorder.
One in four teenage girls is a life long carrier of an STD.
Thousands of girls are "cutting", using razor blades and knives to harm their bodies.
The suicide rate among girls 10-19 is literally skyrocketing out of control.
From Psychology Today,
"There is an epidemic of low self-esteem, because parents haven't had the time it takes to build it. That has left adolescent girls prey to body image issues, so that none ever sees herself as good enough no matter how slim.
The compare/compete dynamic is out of control right now: who is the hottest girl, who's the most popular, the dumbest, the biggest dork?"
We have a society filled with a most unhealthy message that is literally destroying our girls! We must wake, take note, and realize what we as a society have created.
Take a few seconds to get a quick glimpse of what our society has promoted...
Onslaught.... by Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. Is it any wonder we are in crisis?
What can you do?
First, become aware of the messages being sent to the girls and women of our society! Notice what messages girls are inundated with each and every day!
Psychology Today, in an article on Depression in Teens and Girls suggests, "Appreciate how different their world is from ours, and expose yourself to the culture your kids are immersed in. Look on it as an anthropological exploration. Ask kids what's hip and what they are paying attention to. Watch a half hour of MTV for a couple of weeks. Ask your kids to show you some of their favorite computer games and video games. Look at the magazines teen girls read. Go online to good teen websites."
I view the solution to the problem from two perspectives.
1. Eliminate the negative. 2. Encourage the positive.
Let me elaborate.
Eliminate the negative.
Become an activist! Let your opinions be known!
Refuse to support those companies who send messages to our girls that their value is in their bodies; their sexual attractiveness to men.
Refuse to watch television shows that are sponsored by those companies.
Refuse to shop in stores that send unhealthy messages to young people.
Refuse to purchase music videos that promote the unhealthy sexualization of women.
Send a quick email to those companies who you find offensive and let them know of your displeasure.
Do not comment on physical appearance, either positively or negatively. The goal is to not have a girl focus on her body.
In other words, do what you can to eliminate the unhealthy and harmful messages!
Encourage the positive
As parents we can encourage young women to become involved in healthy activities. For example, we know the more girls participate in sports the higher their self esteem. Similarly as girls are involved in service organizations, community projects, and creative outlets they feel better about themselves.
Support those companies who are responsibly promoting their products.
As parents, do your best to promote healthy viewing and media. Notice the great films that do not exploit and objectify women.
Take every opportunity to demonstrate and promote truly beautiful women... women of every age who are healthy, happy, fulfilled, and contributing to this world in truly positive ways! No need for beauty to be associated with body appearance or the shape and size of a form!
Study the lives of truly great women who have made a difference in this world! Read the biographies of women who have truly changed our human society! Learn about great women! Purchase books, visit museum, fill your home and life with positive role models.
In sum, we have created a society that is unhealthy and destructive for girls and adolescents. It is a crisis. We are headed down a path that is increasingly worsening without an observable end.
When will we wake up and realize what we have done? When will companies put the health of our young people over profit? When will the media stop promoting unhealthy messages? When will marketing firms stop objectifying woman as a way to promote their products? When will we as parents stop allowing the unhealthy messages come into our homes?
It is my deepest plea and prayer that we can promote and celebrate health, goodness, and kindness; and embrace women as lovely human beings regardless of their appearance. It is time we honor and support those people, companies and organizations that are working to make a difference in this world.
A few additional resources:
A must read book, The Body Project, by Joan Jacobs Brumberg helps us understand what is happening to our girls and teenagers in this sexualized society.
The Dove Campaign for Beauty is one of my favorite organizations. Dove is a company truly doing its best to promote a healthy approach to beauty and life. They are responsible in their adds, careful in their approach, and truly working to encourage self-esteem in girls, teenagers, and young women.
The following are a few links to get involved in a movement intending to promote a healthy message to girls and young women!
If you would like to help young women find their true beauty and raise their self esteem, click here: Get involved!
To help your daughters and their friends, click here: Moms and Mentors!
A special site filled with activities to boost the self-esteem of girls and teenagers: Self Esteem Zone
"The mission is to inspire people worldwide that the small selfless actions they take in their daily lives often times have a tremendous positive ripple effect that can bring greater harmony to the world. For many of us, a path to peace is about performing selfless acts of kindness, which in return often inspire others to do the same. That’s why the Shinnyo-en Foundation launched the Six Billion Paths to Peace Initiative."
Does it sound like a wonderful project?
If you want to be a part of this fabulous endeavor, simply go to Six Billion Paths to Peace and share your ideas on how to spread goodness. A few simple sentences then click send! That is it.
Then... the fun part! On March 20, in Times Square NYC there will be a gathering to celebrate the Six Billion Paths to Peace Initiative. There on the Reuters board for all the world to see will be all the ideas people have sent in from around the globe to spread goodness and kindness on our planet!
Please join me in this effort to bring an awareness that the world is filled with good people wishing to make a difference!
My little quote I added to the collective thoughts on kindness...
"Spread seeds of kindness wherever you go and know a garden of goodness will emerge!"
I'm convinced that every little step we take to bring forth a world of peace is making a difference!
I invite you to join with me and others throughout the world in sharing our Paths to Peace!
With love,
Jennifer
One more thing, if you like the idea you are tagged to spread the word!
I created this watercolor mandala to reflect my hope as we join together to spread light and love to our world. Feel free to use image if you wish. Click on image to enlargen.
We women are bombarded with thousands of products claiming to help us appear beautiful, young, and attractive to others. We are told that one magic potion or some special formula will make us look fabulously gorgeous, unbelievable glamorous, and young forever.
But I believe that the most wonderful, powerful, and authentic beauty secrets are free and available to every woman in the world.
Let me share them with you!
A genuine smile. There is nothing in the world more attractive. A smile is worth a hundred times more than the most expensive sparkly lipstick. Many years ago I came upon some research attempting to discover what made a woman attractive. The researchers showed hundred of men pictures of all sorts of women and asked them who they would ask out for a date hoping for a long term relationship. It was overwhelmingly clear that the women who were smiling were the ones men found attractive.*Regardless of shape, hair color, height, or any number of measurements, it was a smile that was compelling.
Bright eyes. While we may be misled to think that beautiful eyes are created with the thickest, luscious mascara, a new make-up technique, or the right color eye-shadow, bright eyes filled with wonder, interest, peace, curiosity, and concern capture us. The eyes are the window to the soul, they entreat us, compel us, and connect us to one another.
Health. Now, I am not talking about those who are fit and trim, and in perfect shape.... I mean those with a healthy outlook on life, those who care and respect their form, those who have a balanced and centered life. As humans in spite of the greatest care we may not always be in optimum physical, spiritual, and/or emotional health (I believe we need the difficult challenges to grow and develop). But if our underlying sense of self is healthy, if our worldview is one of peace and strength, we can go through the difficult times where our health is challenged with dignity. I've seen the beauty of those who face death with gentleness. I've seen the heartbroken remain beautiful as they hold onto hope and faith amidst enormous difficulty. I've seen those struggling with serious health concerns retain the self-respect and honor that reflects the beauty within.
Graciousness. I can't think of a much more beautiful trait than graciousness. That loveliest of qualities that helps us feel accepted, cared for, and loved. Graciousness is a dignity filled with respect, concern, and acceptance. It is embracing the highest human qualities while releasing the base and tawdry. Graciousness is ultimately ennobling and fills us with reverence for life and each other. When we are in the presence of a gracious person, we feel the wonder of their beauty and feel beautiful ourselves.
A tender gaze. There are few things in life that fill us with peace and love and joy as a tender gaze. Looking at others with love and care is more attractive than all the beauty products humans could ever create. Whether a mother gazes upon her newborn, or lovers gaze upon their beloved, a tender gaze must be one of the most alluring abilities of all.
Hands that reach for others. There is a deep alluring grace in those whose lives are dedicated to service, care, and support of those in need. It is as if the souls that live to care and love the world are filled with the very essence of what is beautiful. I do not know of anything more wondrous, majestic, and glorious than seeing the compassion of one human for another.
A radiant aura. When all is said and done, true beauty is clearly not a provocative form, a mask or pretense, or glamorous sexy clothing we put on our form. True beauty is a positive, healing, nurturing energy that IS us.
True beauty is the pure energy that radiates from our hearts.
Whether you are a young woman who may have bought into the myth of what the world is trying to tell you is beautiful, or if you are a woman moving into a phase of life where the world is telling you, you are no longer beautiful, my hope is to remind us all that we do not have to buy into the superficiality of masks and outward appearance to be valuable and beautiful.
While it is important to care for ourselves, to have respect for our forms, and to honor our bodies; and it is lovely to appropriately attend to our outward appearance, may we not forget that our true beauty is inside, radiating peace, joy, care, and love to the world.
*This post is not attempting to give advice on how women can attract a man. I use this research to support the idea that there is more to true beauty than what the world seems to think.
In a world that seems crazily hungering for things, possessions, and stuff, I thought I would list some of the best things in life... the things that are free!
Smiles, compassion, bed time stories, Sunday breakfasts, honesty, friends, hugs,support, kindness, a walk on a beach, growing, belief, glimpsing a sunrise, holding a new born baby, comfort, shooting stars, listening to the wisdom of our elders,seeing a butterfly, calling a sibling, breathing deeply, looking into the eyes of our beloved, singing happy birthday, gratitude, passion,coloring with a child, the flickering of fireflies, listening to awaken us to dawn, hope, standing up for something good, caring, sunsets, sharing a poem, good memories, learning something, forgiveness, lovely dreams, laughter, tenderness, love songs, decency,a pat on the back, sharing a special treat, sleeping in a soft bed, family, acceptance, accomplishment, sitting by a fire in winter,finding a seashell, dedication to a cause, moonlight, compassion, finding animals in the clouds, listening to the questions of a child, clear water, forgiveness, family dinners, bubble baths, children's recitals, flowers, love making, fancy chocolates, silence, snow angels, starfish, dancing, devotion, making a difference, God.
"The world does not need tourists who ride by in a bus clucking their tongues. The world as it is needs those who will love it enough to change it, with what they have, where they are."
Music is powerful. It can bring tears to our eyes, inspire us to new heights, and elicit wild passion.
Yet, as a musician, I am intricately aware of the silence of music. It is the silence that allows the notes to be heard. It is the space between the notes that create the song. It is the quiet between the sounds that allow the music to become.
So too with life. We go and go and go. We try to catch up, keep up, and keep moving. We have a million things to do, places to go, goals to accomplish.
Might we forget that the beauty of life is in the reflection, the reverberation?
The silence of life is the space between the actions. In this silence is the appreciation, the contemplation, the experience of life.
At times I feel a sense of anxiety permeating society. As if there is never enough time, never enough money, never enough energy... do we forget that life is more than filling our experience with things? Has life become more like noise than music?
To experience the song of life is to allow the silence to ring.
A quote by Jean Arp comes to mind:
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.
Perhaps it is time to slow down and experience the silence.
Perhaps in the hecticness of life, we can remember the beauty of existence is not noise but a song.
It has been several weeks since I have posted a thought on this blog.
I have received such tenderness, care, and kindness from so many readers and wish to express my deepest appreciate and gratitude.
A quote by Marcel Proust comes to mind...
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
As I contemplated the kindness I received over the last few weeks, this quote came to me. I painted this sunflower mandala during a meditation, reflecting on the blossoming of our souls, and the goodness of those of you who have added so much to my life.
I do not know much about our existence on this earth, but I do know that love, compassion, and healing thoughts are life giving. Our souls blossom around those who bring us joy.
To all of you who have given me encouragement, hope, inspiration, and thoughts of care, may you feel the love I have for you... you are my charming gardeners.
"At bottom every human being knows well enough that he or she is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time."
Most Christians are familiar with, what is considered the first miracle Jesus performed, turning water into wine.
Briefly, in the Gospel of John, the writer tells us that during the Wedding in Cana, Jesus' mother alerts him that the wine has run out. Jesus asks the servants to fill the containers with water, then miraculously he turns the water into wine.
Could it happen? Was this a true miracle? Can water become wine?
Without taking anything away from the faith and beauty this miracle provides to many believers throughout the world, let me share an additional thought concerning this miracle.
Could it be that this miracle was not to just share a particular event but a story to give us a reminder of the miracles of life?
The miracle of water becoming wine is the miracle we see every day.
The water that nourishes grapes on a vine becomes the grapes.
The water on our planet turns not only into grapes, but into oranges, apples, lemons, melons, grains, vegetables, and even us.
Put another way, the water we drink doesn't just flow through us, it becomes us.
Whatever we eat is transformed into us. Whatever we breathe is transformed into us.
The particles in air and water are not other than us, they become us. They are us.
When I read of the miracles shared in religious texts throughout the world, I find myself wondering if they are not given to us as reminders of what is life.
Life itself is the miracle.
Nothing is supernatural... it is that nature is miraculous.
We may not understand the intricacies of life, of existence, of this world of which we are a part, but there is something deeply holy about allowing ourselves to stand in awe of this miracle of which we are a part.
As we nourish our bodies with life giving water, perhaps we can take a moment to reflect on the miracle at Cana, and remind ourselves that we are transforming the water into our very existence.
Life is the miracle. Existence is the miracle. We are the miracle.
Whales are amazing. Truly, absolutely, utterly amazing.
Last week I had the fabulous opportunity to participate in a whale watching expedition in the Atlantic ocean, to observe the humpback and fin whales as they make their annual trip through the Chesapeake bay to South America to mate.
On the voyage, our guide shared his knowledge of whales and I gained a new love for these giant creatures.
For the past few days I found myself pondering these whales and reflecting on their lives, their communities, their ability to communicate. I found myself wanting to learn from them, wanting to know how they have managed to create a society of peace, wanting to understand how they feel as humans have emerged on this Earthly scene.
In hopes that others may share my enthusiasm and interest interest in the creatures of our world,I thought I would share a few fascinating facts about the
